how to calm down

ハートと星ブルー English

Hello. Sometimes it happens, but there is a thing called “Oh, I’m angry!” It’s what young children do to lash out at people around them because they’re angry. How do we calm ourselves down?

I don’t know about other people, so I’ll show you what I do.

In the past, I used to think, “Even that person has good points,” and I was looking for good points. There are certainly good things about it. But I’m angry with him for something else. He ignores me, speaks ill of me, and acts like he looks down on me. Even if I find a good point in such a person, it doesn’t change my anger.

After a while my anger subsides, but when I get involved with that person, they do things that make me angry again. Don’t you think this is an endless loop?

Why is that? I think it’s because I haven’t been able to handle the cause of my anger. When I say “handling”, I don’t mean taking revenge on someone who’s offended.

I noticed the process

1. Realizing that I am angry now
2. Understand what I am angry about

These two. You may think, “That’s all?”, but please try it.

First of all, when no one is around, I say out loud, “I’m angry!!!” Venting my anger calms my mind a little.

Depending on the person, it may be good to hit a pillow or cushion.

Knowing and acknowledging that you are angry can help you feel a little better.

Even though I say it will be easier, I am still angry, but I can afford to think a little. When I can afford this, I think about what I’m angry about.

In my case, as I wrote earlier, I get angry when people ignore me, speak ill of me, or look down on me. At the same time, I also realized that I was “sad”. ( I also wrote about the root of anger

Focusing on yourself in this way and knowing yourself leads to taking care of yourself. And you can use this method with other emotions as well.

1. I am happy now
2. What am I so happy about?

If you do it when you feel happy, your happiness and fun will double.

“How happy I am!”

Every day that seems like that is wonderful, isn’t it? After doing it a few times, anger will be easier to subside, and happiness and fun will double or even triple.

In the past, when I got involved with that person, I couldn’t help but get angry. However, even if I get involved, for some reason, the phenomenon that makes me angry is getting less and less.

I really wonder. It is a phenomenon that can only be understood by those who have experienced it. Please try it.

 the root of anger