Hello. I think everyone has experienced that when you declare what you want to do and the people around you oppose it.
I’m not the only one who has been shocked when I had the courage to say that I wanted to do something, but people around me told me to stop doing it or that it wasn’t realistic.
If you experience being rejected a few times like this, you’ll start thinking things like, “I’ll never say it again,” or “I’ll just go along with others.” That way, you won’t express your opinion.
As you do this, you will begin to lose track of your true feelings, such as what you are thinking and what you want to do. So am I. I don’t really know what I should do to make myself happy or what I want to do to enjoy myself.
If you’re like me, and you don’t understand yourself, what should you do? I think it’s best to start by acknowledging yourself. For example, talking to yourself in your head.
Me A: “I actually don’t want to do this.”
Me B: “I’m with you! I don’t like it either.”
Me A: “Oh, do you understand?”
Me B: “Yeah. I really don’t want to do it. I wonder if we can do something about it.”
It is like this. This is a strategy that says, “If others deny me, then I’ll affirm myself.”
As you do these things over and over again, you’ll gradually come to know what you don’t like and what you like.
Another strategy is to write it down on paper. I don’t use a notebook, but write it down on a memo or backing paper, tear it up, and throw it away. This is because I realized that I can write what I really think if I throw it away. I don’t need to write anything that appeals to me as a nice person, because I’m going to throw away the paper anyway.
As you repeat these things, you will be able to accept yourself more and more. And then I realized that it didn’t bother me so much that other people didn’t approve of me. I can take a step back and think, “So that’s what you think.” It’s like, “There are as many opinions as there are people, so it’s natural for my opinions to be different from yours.” Don’t you think I’ve discovered something amazing?
When you stop trying to conform to others and start acting according to your true feelings, you will find that others will adjust to you.
For example, massage. If you have the courage to ask, “Please push me a little harder,” he will make it a little stronger. At restaurants, if you let them know when ordering that you don’t like raw onions, they will serve you a dish that does not contain raw onions.
You can get what you like, right?
I realized that the people around me are kinder than I thought.
Observing people’s behavior and gaining awareness
